A Mother’s Day for the Weary & Waiting

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joys! Psalm 126:5

I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I couldn’t picture myself in any specific career. But one thing I did know – I wanted to be a wife and a mother. That was all I could clearly see when I thought about my future. I even remember talking about adoption when I was young. 

When I got married at 19, my husband and I put our trust in God to bring us children in His timing. We waited, prayed, and hoped  – year after year. With each passing year and still-empty arms, discouragement grew. Was He ever going to bring this dream to life? Every year Mother’s Day was just a painful reminder. I looked around at other women I admired and quietly mourned what I didn’t yet have. 

Finally, one day, my dream became real. Through adoption, I was blessed to become a mom to a blue-eyed boy with dark hair and the longest eyelashes you’ve ever seen. My first Mother’s Day as a mom arrived, and I still felt sadness. I was so grateful for this gift, but my heart still ached. I ached for other women who still weren’t moms, for women who had lost their children, for those who wished their mom was still here, and for my son’s birth mother. There are so many circumstances that cause me pain on a day that is supposed to be full of celebration. 

Mother’s Day isn’t as simple as it seems. It carries so many emotions – joy, grief, hope, sorrow – all wrapped up in a single day meant for celebration. 

Every year, I struggle with it, even now, ten years into motherhood. I want to celebrate. I’ve learned that all women are mothers in some way, because we all have something within us that brings life into this world. I’ve also learned that two things can be true at the same time. I can celebrate all women as life-givers – the beauty of motherhood – and mourn the brokenness surrounding it, too. 

If you’re feeling unsure about how to approach Mother’s Day, for whatever reason, it’s okay to celebrate, and it’s okay if you choose not to. Mother’s Day is optional. Give yourself the space to decide.